The holiday season can be a nostalgic time when the daily rush seems to pause and everything around reminds you that holidays are for family. For adoptees this can be a particularly challenging period. In the midst of cheerful celebrations it may be hard to find room to voice feelings of loss, confusion or longing.
In the quiet hours after the party dies down, it’s normal to find yourself wondering about the strangers who share your genes. Where might they be? How might they be enjoying the holidays? Might they also be wondering about you?
At times like this, in many hearts, a new resolution is sparked. You may start to feel finally ready to embark on a journey that could be life-changing and find yourself preparing to search for your birth family. If you have precious little information about them, the best place to start may seem to be a DNA-testing site. However, you might be surprised to find there is a potentially better and easier starting place. This article will tell you all about the advantages of making your adoption reunion connection on Adopted.com as opposed to using genealogy sites.
Why are Genealogy sites a popular place to start?
Genealogy platfroms offer their clients DNA testing as well as a large, searchable database of public records (e.g. census records, birth records, marriage and death notices, etc.). Besides providing general information regarding their ethnicity and genetic traits, these sites also offer their users the possibility to create family trees and search through any DNA branches that might appear.
Many people use genealogy sites without actively searching for lost family members, simply to learn more about themselves and have an online record of their family tree to share with their known relatives. This can lead to extensive user databases, but also to low engagement, as many users don’t frequently visit the websites after getting their DNA results and analysis.
Sometimes, people who are trying to find a birth family member whom they know next to nothing about can see DNA matching as their only option. Even if they possess some minimal information, the bureaucratic red tape can be disheartening, especially if they are trying to find their birth parents in a closed adoption. So it seems reasonable to start by trying a user-friendly online platform before engaging in an uneven battle with the judiciary system to access your adoption records.
We want you to know that, if this is your case, there are is an Online Adoption Reunion Registry created specifically to help you with your search.
What is Adopted.com and how does it work?
Adopted.com is the world’s largest international online adoption reunion registry, with over one million active members. It is a mutual-consent platform, which means users submit their voluntary adoption records, in order for our proprietary algorithm to find matches between their profile and those of others. Once a match is found, the user is notified and may opt to connect with the other person via direct message if they so choose.
There are mainly 3 ways to search on Adopted.com, each distinct and valuable in its own way.
The first is profile matching. All users will answer 10 specially selected questions that most people know about their adoption situation. These factors have been carefully thought out to make the most out of even the sparsest information. Our algorithm then cross-references the answers to find similarities and complementarities.
The second way is to try to find your birth family by using Namesearch. This user-friendly, Google-like feature allows you to look up specific pieces of information (e.g. the name of a person, town, adoption agency, etc.) within our database and our partners’ available historical records.
Finally, Adopted.com also provides DNA comparison. You can upload your DNA data to our platform and it will be compared against that of all our other members who have done the same. Should you be biologically related to any of them, our system can locate those leads.
The advantages of using Adopted.com over Genealogy sites
You may have noticed that both genealogy websites and Adopted.com can offer you DNA comparison, alongside various other useful features. However, we will share some reasons why our online adoption reunion registry may be a superior tool for searching for your birth family and a great place to start your adoption reunion journey:
1. All our members are searching for their birth family
The main thing that sets Adopted.com apart from genealogy sites is that it is designed exclusively with adoption reunion in mind. All of our members are here with the specific purpose of finding their lost birth family members. A DNA match on a genealogy website might put you in the position of contacting a genetic relative who may not be interested in receiving this contact. They also may not be able to determine where in their family tree the person you seek can be found at all, especially if the person you are seeking is hiding their involvement in the adoption. However, if you find a lead on our platform, you can be sure that the respective birth family member is also engaging in their search intentionally. This increases your chances of a successful reunion that will allow you to start rebuilding bridges with your biological family.
2. DNA matching is just one tool of several available
While using DNA comparison is an option when looking for your birth relatives on Adopted.com, it is only one of several ways to search. Profile matching and the Namesearch feature can be incredibly helpful, especially since not everyone chooses to get their DNA tested. Maybe the person you seek does not approve of sharing their DNA data, maybe they cannot afford the testing or don’t even consider this possibility. However, anyone can register for free on Adopted.com, create a profile, answer our simple 10-question form and find out whether they have any matches.
3. We compare DNA data from various Genealogy sites
Since there are so many genealogy platforms that offer genetic testing, their user base is fragmented and there is always a chance the birth relative you seek has chosen a different website. However, Adopted.com allows its users to upload DNA data from most major platforms and can cross-reference them for comparison. This means that if your biological relatives who did their DNA testing throuh a different service also upload their data to our website in hopes of finding you, they will be able to do so regardless of the company each of you has chosen for your DNA analysis.
4. You can see how you’re related
From the outside, DNA comparison can seem like a very simple process: you upload your DNA data and a specific software compares it with others. However, while DNA can help your adoption reunion search, things are not always as easy as they seem on the surface. You may learn that another user on a genealogy website shares a significant amount of DNA with you. But that does not necessarily tell you exactly how you are related. Are they a cousin? An aunt or uncle? A more distant relative?... Moreover, family trees can be quite large and it can be difficult to tell which branch the respective family member is from and who your common ancestor was, especially if you don’t know much about your biological family to begin with or if they are hiding their involvement in the adoption. On Adopted.com this is not a concern since our user profiles were created voluntarily by those who are actively engaging in a search.
5. More birth relatives could be looking for you here
You may be actively searching for specific biological family members such as trying to find your birth parents or a sibling you know about. However, there may be birth relatives out there looking for you of whose existence you aren’t even aware (e.g. younger siblings, cousins, aunts or uncles, etc.). While not everyone gets their DNA tested, they may have joined an online adoption reunion registry, and Adopted.com is the largest and best-known of all. If they possess some information about you, (e.g. your name, date of birth, adoption location or even just details about your birth parents), you can be matched even if you haven’t been looking for them specifically. This can open up a greater array of reunion possibilities than you originally thought possible. And finding one biological relative can make it easier to also locate others. DNA matches from genealogy platforms may not be interested in communicating with you and may not even mention your existence to other family members. However, people who have been actively searching for you are more likely to be receptive and help you in your quest to find the relative you seek.
What if you can’t find your birth family on Adopted.com?
If you have already tried Adopted.com and so far received no matches, don’t give up hope. Your profile remains on our platform as long as you wish. This means that the moment one of your birth family members joins our community and searches for you, our algorithm will be able to make the connection. Since more and more people register with us every day, your chances of getting this long-awaited message are ever-increasing.
In the meantime, we want you to know you are not alone on this difficult journey. Countless members of the Adopted.com community share your experiences, your hopes, your doubts and your fears. And they are always here to offer mutual support and encouragement, to give you strength when all seems lost and to revel in your joy when you finally get the news you have been waiting for.
So wherever your adoption reunion journey may lead you, you can rest assured that here is a safe space where you can find empathy, insight and an online village of friends who understand what you’re going through and will always have your back.
