Regardless of the circumstances, the events that occur around adoption are monumental to the adopted child.

It could be a joyous moment where the adoptee forges new family bonds or a traumatic moment where one is displaced from family. In many cases, it’s a shocking moment when one finds out they’re adopted.

Many factors influence the way adoptees cope with learning about their adoption, such as their:

  • Age when this event occurred
  • Age of when they found out about their adoption
  • Relationship (or lack thereof) with their biological relatives
  • Time spent institutionalized or in foster care
  • Individual personality traits
  • Genetic predispositions

Some adoptees have an easier time overcoming the various stages of emotions that come with the news. However, some adoptees find it difficult to manage feelings of anger, guilt, grief, shame, fear, rejection, or low self-esteem.

While most can manage their emotions with help and support from their family, some develop mental health challenges – commonly referred to as Adopted Child Syndrome.

In these instances, to help a person overcome the symptoms, professional assistance is typically required.

If you’re struggling to cope with intense feelings regarding your adoption, or you’d like to support your adopted child, here are some things you may want to know:

What Is Adopted Child Syndrome?

Adopted Child Syndrome (ACS) is a term used to describe emotional and behavioral difficulties some adoptees face, often related to unresolved feelings of abandonment, identity issues, or attachment struggles. Though widely discussed, ACS is not recognized as a formal diagnosis in the psychological community.

The term generates a lot of discussion and debate because it generalizes adoptees' experiences, potentially reinforcing adoption myths. Some adoptees may exhibit behaviors like defiance or relationship difficulties, but these are not exclusive to adoption. Support for adoptees should be approached with individualized care rather than blanket assumptions.

What Causes Adopted Child Syndrome?

While ACS is not a medically supported term, it is often used among adoptees to describe the feelings they’re experiencing. A variety of factors can cause these feelings, such as:

  • Abandonment and loss: Adopted children can develop significant feelings of abandonment by their mother.
  • Genetic differences: As adopted children get older, they start to note the differences between themselves and their adoptive parents.
  • Guilt: Adopted children may feel like they’re a burden to their adoptive parents.
  • Being “Chosen”: Some families or agencies may overemphasize the fact the child was chosen by their adoptive parents. The adoptee may interpret their adoption as an act of charity.
  • Different ethnic backgrounds: Differences in appearance and culture can cause significant identity issues in the adoptee.

Adopted Child Syndrome Symptoms

Those with adopted child syndrome may have a variety of symptoms. Some examples of how they can manifest follow:

Insecure Attachment with Adoptive Family

Attachment style forms during the first two years of life. It’s a result of how the primary caregiver tends and reacts to the child. If they’re inconsistent, unreliable, or neglectful of the child’s needs, the child may develop insecure (anxious or avoidant) attachment.

If unaddressed, it can manifest throughout life as excessive clinginess or the constant need for approval. Alternatively, it can manifest as excessive independence—the rejection of help or affection from others.

Overwhelming Fear of Abandonment

If the child perceives their adoption as a form of abandonment by their biological parents, they may live in fear that they’ll be abandoned by others they come to love and depend on.

They may need constant reassurance that they will not be abandoned or strongly resist developing deep relationships with others so that they cannot be abandoned by them.

Anger and Resentment Toward Their Biological Family

There is a potential for adoptees to perceive their adoption as an injustice that has been done to them by their birth family.

A consequence of these thoughts can be that the adoptee might foster anger, contempt, and hostility towards their birth parents. This is common for adoptees who had biological relatives who subjected them to abuse or neglect.

Deep-seated Trust Issues Toward Adult Caregivers

If the adopted child suffered physical or emotional abuse from their caregivers (e.g., biological parents, foster parents, or guardians), they can find it difficult to entrust their safety and well-being to another adult.

Even if their adoptive parents prove themselves as responsible and trustworthy, the child may continue searching for signs that they’ll hurt them in the future.

Shame and Guilt, Which Result in Low Self-esteem

If the child regards their adoption as a form of rejection by their birth parents, they may fixate on what they did wrong and justify that their birth family left them because they’re no good.

In day-to-day life, they may tend to interpret mistakes they make as proof that they deserve to be rejected by the ones they love.

Feelings of Grief and Loss Regarding Their Adoption

When a child finds out that they were put up for adoption, they can possibly experience profound grief and loss. This is because they may have perceived this event as having potentially a loving relationship taken away from them.

It’s common with orphans – they once had a safe and loving home, which they can no longer return to. They may feel disloyal to their biological families if they allow themselves to accept their new adoptive parents.

Using DNA in your adoption search can bring you closer to the answers—and to reuniting with your birth family. Register with Adopted.com to enhance your search with DNA comparison.

What Can Be Done to Help Adoptees Who Show Signs of Adopted Child Syndrome?

While coping with Adopted Child Syndrome (ACS) can be a difficult and painful experience for the adoptee and their loved ones, identifying it can be a positive opportunity for improvement.

Mental health professionals specialized in adoption or childhood trauma can bring a significant amount of clarity, comfort, and healing to a struggling adoptee. They can help adoptees regain control over their impulses and improve their behavioral issues.

It’s important that an adoptee who exhibits symptoms of ACS receive therapy as early as possible. Depending on each individual’s case, treatment can involve talk therapy or be combined with appropriate psychiatric medication.

When Should an Adoptee Suspected of Adopted Child Syndrome Consider Seeking Professional Help?

There’s no such thing as “too soon” to provide support. If there’s any reason to suspect that an adoptee might be experiencing ACS symptoms, they’ll likely benefit from being evaluated by a therapist or psychologist.

The younger the age at which help is received, the less likely it is that the ACS will have a significant and long-term impact on the adoptee’s development.

Nonetheless, it’s never too late to start therapy. ACS symptoms can be diminished with adequate mental health support. Seeking professional assistance can also help with other psychological comorbidities that may affect the adoptee’s quality of life.

How Can Families Help Support Those Who Are Recovering from Adopted Child Syndrome?

While professional help can be necessary for treating Adopted Child Syndrome, having a strong, committed support network is just as important for recovery.

Fear of abandonment and rejection are at the root of this condition. Making the adoptee feel safe, loved, and cherished is paramount. These are basic needs we can all identify with.

The family should make efforts to build trust and rapport with the adoptee. Methods to go about this include:

  • Making and following through on promises with the adoptee
  • Maintaining confidence to build trust
  • Modeling acceptance, kindness, and forgiveness with the adoptee and others around them
  • Refraining from having strong negative emotional reactions when the adopted child opens up about a difficult issue.

How Does One Find Closure After Experiencing Adopted Child Syndrome?

During an adoptee’s path toward recovering from Adopted Child Syndrome, they may embark on a journey to learn about their birth family, reconnect with them, or get answers about their adoption to get emotional closure. There are many ways to achieve this, including joining our registry to find your birth parents.

However, there’s always a chance that meeting one’s biological relatives may be a deeply disappointing and destabilizing experience, or that reconnecting with them might not even be possible due to:

If this is the case, adoptees should contact their therapist or spiritual advisor to process this new development and move forward with their lives in a healthy way.

During these difficult times, adoptees can rely on their adoptive family and friends for love and support.

For adoptees to look to the future with confidence, they must work towards letting go of the traumas of the past. There’s no reason to rush through recovering from Adopted Child Syndrome – it will happen when the mind and soul are ready for it.

Join an Understanding and Supportive Community

If you suspect you have ACS, start your journey towards healing it with the tips shared above and take time to look forward to your life.

You don’t have to go through this journey alone. The Adopted.com community is here to walk beside you every step of the way.


When you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally drained, our caring community will offer support, share their stories, and encourage you to keep moving forward. Register for free today.