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Laurastanley
Searching for my older half sister. our mother was 17 when she gave her up in 1967. I believe in Pennsylvania through catholic family services. my mother has passed away, but I feel she needs to know what a force of life she came from. She had named her Monica Michelle. I am sure the name was changed but maybe she was told that. My mother was known for her beautiful blue, grey, or green light eyes. they are not easy to describe but it is a trait that she passed along to me so maybe my sister has her eyes too. she had dark brown/ black hair. She died back in 1996. there is still not a day that passes that I don’t think of her. I was 19 when she died and she was my world. she never told me outright about monica michelle but I heard the name and I know she carried some unspoken guilt that I could never understand and that I believe fed the cancer she endured. I hope to find that my sister is healthy and surrounded by love. I know my mom is with her often. she still is in my life and makes herself known quite a bit. her name was Joan Mary Smith. She and her sister Sally were both adopted at age 5 and 6 respectfully by ruth and George smith. their birth mother died when they were that young. they lived in Washington court house ohio but had family in Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh area I believe. our mother could enter a room of 200 people and somehow she would be schmoozing up to the vice president of the company within 5 mins. she had a wicked wit and was so wise and kind with that wisdom. she always taught me that yes there are always people better off than you, but remember that there are always people worse off than you. you cant judge someone, its not your right. and she taught me that pity is something that we misinterpret. like who do you think you are to think you can feel pity for someone. you are not above them. you see a man with one arm and feel sorry for him...I don’t think so, he probably has life figured out a whole lot more than you do. and something I struggle to remember is how she would tell me that you have to have compassion for yourself as a human being. you are quick to forgive others their humanness but never allow yourself the same. At any rate, if you are out there I am here.
