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JKlug5290

Hi‚ I am here and search of two things. One being a better understanding of my health history regarding my biological make up‚ that my adoptive parents are unable to answer for me. I was born in 1990‚ in Wichita‚ Kansas at Saint Francis Hospital‚ and my adoption case was overseen by Catholic Social Services. I am now 32 years old and even with plenty of time to begin this search since I was 18‚ it’s become much more of a necessity at this current time than ever before‚ due to a handful of medical concerns that seemed to spring up out of nowhere with two of those medical concerns‚ landing me in the hospital. With further findings‚ trying to figure out what was going on‚ doctors had informed me that if I was better informed of my previous medical history‚ these are things that I could have seen signs of before they had to become the emergency that they were. I want to stress to whom ever it concerns‚ that I carry no anger or resentment‚ for my lack of knowledge‚ because I truly understand and believe that we all are doing the best that we can with the knowledge and tools that we have available to us at the time. With knowing that‚ I hope that whom ever has the information that I’m looking for can understand that this registry is the tool that I am using to hopefully help me obtain the information that you have that will help me live my best life‚ not only for myself‚ but for my family as well. Now the second reason I am beginning this search‚ is also a health matter‚ but it plays into the part of mental health. When I decided to go to school‚ I decided I wanted to learn everything possible about the early development‚ stages of childhood and the degree of importance that development has on a human being as well as all the facets that go into the proper development in childhood. Speaking in terms of my personal journey‚ I was raised in a family as the youngest with one older brother‚ that is also adopted but he and I are not biological siblings. Something that I always just excepted as the way things were never really put much thought into whether or not this was something that every adoptive person was supposed to experience‚ was that my older brother would receive phone calls from his birth mom around the time of his birthday every year. It wasn’t until much later in my adult life‚ that I would discover that the knowledge of my brothers specific circumstance regarding his birth mom‚ calling to check up on him from time to time‚ actually had a huge effect on me in a way that truly blew my mind. Not only my mind‚ but my adoptive parents minds when I explained it to them that I felt I had finally reached up‚ pivot point to help me understand why if my brother and I were raised in the same family adopted in very similar ways came somewhat relatable. Circumstances‚ why did it affect my mental health so much more than his? Why was it so difficult for me to feel safety in the bonds that I would make through my upbringing‚ and in my adult life‚ but simultaneously feeling a bond with some thing that I was so desperate for. Even to feel a bond with myself‚ to fill a bond with my actual existence in the world. The discovery I made and while it may seem sad or painful‚ there’s actually so much hope that I have found within discovering because now I have hope in being able to use that discovery and access truth‚ and validation with in my self for myself. Which leads me up to saying‚ the discovery I found was that my entire life I have been told‚ a circumstance that is mine and only mine but it’s also something that I have been told. And I never questioned because I never even thought for a second that it should be which can sound good but when you realize that a lot of your trouble in life is believing the first thing that you’re told‚ choosing to listen to the outside world around you instead of your inner self… But thinking that that is just how things are while simultaneously noticing that everyone else around‚ you seems to have an easier time finding assurance in themselves‚ validation within themselves‚ making healthy and safe decisions for themselves… having those internal protections/safety‚ net/boundaries truly were some of the hardest things for me to get to in life but luckily with determination and Hardwork‚ I have started to get to them. However‚ it was with this discovery of where it all routed from that finally gave me an understanding that I don’t need a whole lot other than the ability to see for myself that my personal circumstance up bringing & entrance into this world is what it is. I’m not looking for it because I think my family has lied to me or there’s some dark underlining circumstance… This is solely about being able to construct a reality with my own conscious mind and being able to carry away from that a stronger foundation regarding my existence. I can’t promise that I would ever want to have a face-to-face reunion‚ right now I’m focused on necessities for a strong well-being‚ so I just need to know that you’re out there.